Title: Moving Violation
Synopsis:
Author: Melanie Jackson
Series: Chloe Boston #1
Pages: 180
Date Published: August 4th 2010
Publisher: N/A
Format: Kindle
Genre: Mystery
Source: Goddess Fish Blog Tours
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Hope Fall's greatest detective is stuck in parking enforcement because at 98 pounds, 5 foot nothing, she will never be able to pass the department's physical exam. But with the aid of her dog, and her writer's group, Chloe may just be able to solve Hope Fall's first homicide and impress the new chief of police.
~Try an Excerpt!~
Walking through the busy offices I came to an awkward
halt when I stepped into a back room and came face to face of Officer Bill. Had
his head always been this large?
The Officer Bill outfit consists of two parts. The
most obvious is a large, bulbous, smiling head wearing a policeman’s hat. The
other part is a felt uniform that you step into and have Velcro’ed across your
back. This part of the uniform included
bulging felt shoes that belonged on a clown. I thought the whole outfit looked
rather scruffy and gave Officer Bill a seedy appearance. It had obviously never
been cleaned.
“Let’s go, Boston.
It’s time to climb into the suit, chickie,” Gordon said with a sneer.
Mrs. Smith was right; he was a sexist as well as a bully.
“Forget the suit,” I countered firmly. “I’m already
wearing a real uniform. Let’s just get
this head thing on.” Gordon didn’t argue with me. He seemed happy, even eager,
to assist in my embarrassment any way he could.
Slipping the head on over my ears, I was pleasantly
surprised to find that it wasn’t that difficult to see out of the grill front
and that the head was not so heavy that I couldn’t hold it up without
staggering. In fact, the papier-mâché cranium stayed in place with only
periodic need for hand adjustments when I actually walked.
Although I could hear Gordon laughing at me, I was
beginning to feel good about the assignment. After all, what could be more
important than giving young, formative minds a positive view of law
enforcement? I was actually eager to see
the reaction of the kids to this goofy outfit.
“Let’s go, Boston. The door’s this way.”
My peripheral vision was nonexistent so I allowed
Gordon to guide me to the door, which may have been my first mistake. When we
were positioned to leave, the principle slipped through the door ahead of me to
hold it open. I was somewhat shocked to see what must have been close to one
hundred children standing politely on the playground outside, eagerly awaiting
my arrival.
Fully prepared to do the deed, I walked toward the
door, propelled by an unnecessary shove from Gordon that made me stumble. Then
I stopped cold. I don’t mean I stopped walking, I mean that something stopped
me and abruptly enough that my feet almost slid out from under me. It didn’t take long to recognize the fact
that Officer Bill’s head was stuck in the door.
“Turn it sideways, Boston,” Gordon demanded.
“Too late,” I explained in a low voice. “I’m stuck.
Better pull me back.”
And sure enough, I was stuck. My head was jammed
snuggly between the door frames which prevented me from going forward,
backward, or even turning my head. Before I could come up with another idea as
to what to do I felt Gordon beating on the back of my head in an unhelpful
manner. The loud concussions were giving me a headache.
“Gordon, what are you doing? That hurts!”
“Trying to get your fat head through the door.”
That’s when I heard it. The sound of the youngest
children standing in the front beginning to cry.
“He’s trying to kill Officer Bill,” one of the
children exclaimed.
“Officer Bill is having a fit,” an older kid called to
amused laughter. “Call 911.”
“No kids— Officer Bill is fine!” I shouted, in a very
un-Bill like voice, but the crying continued and actually began to spread, the
kindergarten equivalent of mass hysteria.
I could only imagine what it must have looked
like. Officer Bill jerking left and
right with his head stuck in the door while Officer Gordon attacked him from
behind. Gripping the frame and pulling as hard as I could I tried to put and
end to the horrid scene. And I
succeeded, in a way.
With little warning my head became unwedged and I flew
forward onto the playground almost on top of the children. Hands out, I tried
not to fall but couldn’t help myself. I hit the pavement with a resounding
“umph”. Officer Bill’s right ear was laying on the ground beside me and I
feared for his nose. I reached for the strap holding me in and dislodged the
left ear. That’s when the children started to run and screech.
“He killed Officer Bill,” a little girl in yellow
dress screamed. I hoped she was pointing at Gordon.
I tried to get up but found that the head was too
heavy when I was prone. Never mind making an officer lift a sandbag, how about
trying to get up while wearing an Officer Bill head?
I reached again for the velcro fastener but couldn’t
find it. The best I could do was crawl across the pavement toward a bench,
pushing my massive head before me. The
head made a loud grating noise as it scraped across the asphalt. An eye screen
popped out, leaving a hole. I scooped up the eye and put it in my pocket. Of course,
the children regarded this as an additional act of aggression. Zombie Bill was
rising from the dead and collecting body parts. There was more screaming.
Finally I dragged myself upright, found the strap and
managed to pop my head out of the Officer Bill costume. I put the damaged Bill
head on the bench.
Looking around the playground I saw that almost all of
the children were gone. They were running behind buildings and for the bushes
at the far end of the playground looking for places to hide.
School. I had always hated being there.
~Meet Melanie!~
Melanie has
been writing her entire life. In fact, one of her earliest fond memories is
receiving an IBM Selectric typewriter for her birthday. After publishing
romance novels (Scottish historical and paranormal) for New York based
publisher Dorchester Publishing from 1999 to 2010, Melanie chose to begin
self-publishing cozy mysteries. Since then she has released the Chloe Boston, Butterscotch
Jones, Miss Henry, Wendover House, Kenneth Mayhew and Jane Blackthorn Mystery
series.
Melanie
Jackson is the award-winning author of more than one hundred novels and
novellas published in various languages. She lives with her writer husband and her
bossy cat in the Sonoma wine country. Besides gardening, she is involved with
animal charities.
Get “Moving
Violation”, the first book in Melanie’s Chloe Boston Cozy Mystery Series,
absolutely free by visiting your favorite online bookstore or by selecting from
these links:
Amazon
(Kindle)
http://www.amazon.com/Moving-Violation-Chloe-Boston-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B003YH9JKI
Smashwords
(All Formats)
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/20686
.
This book is on sale for
only $0.99, as are the first books of Melanie's most popular other series:
Moving
Violation (Chloe Boston Cozy Mysteries 1)
http://www.amazon.com/Moving-Violation-Chloe-Boston-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B003YH9JKI
Due North
(Butterscotch Jones Cozy Mysteries 1) http://www.amazon.com/North-Butterscotch-Jones-Mysteries-Book-ebook/dp/B004VMOANQ
Portrait of a
Gossip (Miss Henry Cozy Mysteries 1)
http://www.amazon.com/Portrait-Gossip-Miss-Henry-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B007X6IL5A
The Secret
Staircase (Wendover House Gothic Mysteries 1) http://www.amazon.com/Secret-Staircase-Wendover-House-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B005V0K81A
Melanie will be awarding a $10 Amazon or B/N GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour, and a $10 Amazon or B/N GC to a randomly drawn host.
Thanks for hosting!
ReplyDeletethank you for the chance :)
ReplyDeleteWhat'd be the author's dream cast if the book were made into a movie?
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading the excerpt today
ReplyDeleteI already have an enthusiastic stage actress who wants to be Chloe. Her name is Cassie Rowell-- and she is realistically petite. I haven't considered the others at all, I guess because in my mind they are people in their own right and it would be weird to substitute them with an actor... I'll have to think about this.
ReplyDeleteIt is time to unplug from the Matrix and let the glowing eyeballs do something offline.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for having me as a guest. It was fun.
"... one of her earliest fond memories is receiving an IBM Selectric typewriter for her birthday." One of MY earliest fond memories is buying a manual Kenmore portable typewriter in high school so that I could type my own assignments. When I hit college, I would babysit by playing with the kids till their bedtime, then ensure they were asleep and type students' assignments on my typewriter until the parents got home. I learned to type at age 13 on my parents' Remington manual typewriter, advanced to electric typewriters in high school, electronic typewriters at my place of employment, computers in the workplace (before Google), and finally computers at home (for personal use as well as my home typing business) and computers outside the home (when my children were older). I am proud to say I am still typing (and editing) from home and am SOOOO glad I chose a career whereby I could be with my kids during their school years.
ReplyDelete