Title: Who Am I?: How My Daughter Taught Me to Let Go and Live Again
Two months after Madelyne was born, my doctor made me go to the hospital. Not only was I in a marriage that clearly was not working anymore, I had all the signs of post-partum depression. I cried all day, every day, because I felt that I was not a good enough mother for my child. I thought about taking my own life because I felt that she was better off without me. When I checked into the mental health ward of the hospital, I asked the doctor if he thought I was crazy. He listened to me, took notes, and said, “Megan. You just had a baby, you know your marriage is over, you are in law school and you just moved back home with your parents. I’m surprised it took you this long to get to crazy.” That was the first time I laughed in months.
In the past four years, I have been on the roller coast of my life. I was able to finish law school but that did not come without some difficulties. My ex-husband gave up joint custody and has not seen his daughter since July 2012. I hope that one day Madelyne’s father will be in her life. However, I don’t dwell on it. My therapist told me I can never make him be the father I want him to be; and those words set me free.
Through my divorce and post-partum depression, I could have closed my heart and run from my problems out of fear. But I choose to stop the abuse and embrace my role as a mother. It was a terrifying ride, but I am so grateful that my heart was open enough to take that journey.
My daughter is my strength. We make up silly songs together. We dance around the house in fancy tutus and ballet slippers. She is my air. She is my soul. She is my heart.
So, who am I? I am a strong, confident, independent woman. I am Madelyne’s Mom.
Author: Megan Cyrulewski
Series: N?A
Pages: 252
Date Published: July 17th 2014
Publisher: Black Opal Press
Format: Paperback
Genre: Non-fiction
Synopsis:
Megan Cyrulewski is an ordinary person who has faced extraordinary challenges and now wants to inspire people and show them that hope gives them the power to survive anything. Who Am I? is about her journey into post-partum depression, anxiety disorder, panic attacks, visits to the psych ward, divorce, domestic violence, law school, and her courageous struggle to survive with her sanity intact-and how a beautiful little girl emerged from all this chaos.
~Guest Post!~
Who Am I: My Story
When I was younger, if someone would have told me that at the age of 36, I would be divorced, have a 4-year-old daughter and be living with my parents, I don’t know if I would have laughed from disbelief or cried because it’s true. Who Am I: My Story
Two months after Madelyne was born, my doctor made me go to the hospital. Not only was I in a marriage that clearly was not working anymore, I had all the signs of post-partum depression. I cried all day, every day, because I felt that I was not a good enough mother for my child. I thought about taking my own life because I felt that she was better off without me. When I checked into the mental health ward of the hospital, I asked the doctor if he thought I was crazy. He listened to me, took notes, and said, “Megan. You just had a baby, you know your marriage is over, you are in law school and you just moved back home with your parents. I’m surprised it took you this long to get to crazy.” That was the first time I laughed in months.
In the past four years, I have been on the roller coast of my life. I was able to finish law school but that did not come without some difficulties. My ex-husband gave up joint custody and has not seen his daughter since July 2012. I hope that one day Madelyne’s father will be in her life. However, I don’t dwell on it. My therapist told me I can never make him be the father I want him to be; and those words set me free.
Through my divorce and post-partum depression, I could have closed my heart and run from my problems out of fear. But I choose to stop the abuse and embrace my role as a mother. It was a terrifying ride, but I am so grateful that my heart was open enough to take that journey.
My daughter is my strength. We make up silly songs together. We dance around the house in fancy tutus and ballet slippers. She is my air. She is my soul. She is my heart.
So, who am I? I am a strong, confident, independent woman. I am Madelyne’s Mom.
~Try an Excerpt!~
Tyler was out of control—I had to stop him from taking my
daughter…
Before I could even react, he snatched Madelyne out of my
arms and put her in the back of his car. She started to hyperventilate.
“What are you doing?” I screamed.
Tyler ignored me as he tried to strap her in the car seat.
“Tyler! She’s terrified! You can’t do this! Let’s take her
to a park or something. She has to calm down before she can go with you!” Was
he crazy? How could he do this to his own child?
I squeezed in between him and the doorframe of the car door.
“Tyler! Stop!”
“Don’t touch my car!” Tyler screeched as he tried to slam
the door shut. I had my leg in between the door and the frame so he couldn’t
close the door. I tried reaching Madelyne who was still wailing and howling. It
was a horrific sound. All of a sudden, Tyler put me in a chokehold and dragged
me from the car. I could see my dad out of the corner of my eye trying to get
someone’s, anyone’s, attention.
“Help!” I screamed. “Help me!” But we were parked too far
away from the actual police station and since it was Sunday, no one was around.
“Someone help me. Please!”
Tyler tightened his arm around my throat. I couldn’t
breathe. Oh my God, I thought. He’s going to kill me. Tyler was completely out
of control. I knew if I didn’t do something soon, I was going to blackout.
~Meet Megan!~
Megan
Cyrulewski has been writing short stories ever since she was
ten-years-old. Eventually she settled
into a career in the non-profit sector and then went back to school to get her
law degree. While she was in school, she
documented her divorce and child custody battle in her memoir, Who Am I?, which
was published in 2014. Megan lives in
Michigan with her 3-year-old daughter who loves to dance, run, read, and
snuggle time with Mommy. Megan also
enjoys her volunteer work with Troy Youth Assistance as the Fundraising Chair
on the Board of Directors.
www.megancyrulewski.com
https://www.facebook.com/authorMeganC
https://twitter.com/MeganCyrulewski
http://www.megancyrulewski.com/blog
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8412564.Megan_Cyrulewski
Megan will be awarding a $50 Amazon gift card to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour, and a $25 Amazon gift card to a randomly drawn host.
I liked the excerpt
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I have enjoyed learning about the book. Thanks for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteThe excerpt was intense, interested in knowing what happens next...
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the excerpt! Beautiful cover!!! Thanks for sharing!
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ReplyDeleteSounds like an interesting book and journey.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for hosting me. Sorry I didn't leave a message yesterday. Time got away from me! Thank you to everyone for all of your nice comments!
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